Thesis - Sociopaths are by nature, nurtured. Thais is, given a select few abberations of human nauter, sociopaths are a culteral phenonemon, products of their various environments.
This is mostly about nurture. I was a basic kid. The tabla was maybe special, but definitely rasa. I was put under extreme stresses which had a negative impact upon me, and at around age nine, the stresses now intolerable, I disassociated. This was the foundation and beginning of my sociopathic tendancies. At age 39, I had a transformational experience, "The Event," which exposed the disassociated parts of my self. Still exhibiting characteristics of sociopathy, I began to work on myself, and over time, did indeed start to put humpty back together again, and in a less sociopathic way. At age 60, all the work I did on myself came together and I individuated, moving from a sociopathic model to a differentiated, self actualized, socially responsible ex narcissistic model. What follows is just notes working on this idea. Sorry for the mess. Don't know if I will get back to this. I seem to have moved on. Heded somewhere but not sure where yet.
- In these pages, I am going to explore, in the main, Identity. I.e., what I think that is?
- This will also be a discussion of
- Antisocial Personality Disorder vs Sociopathy vs Psychopathy
- Behavior patterns (ASPD) vs "social factors?" (Sociopathy) vs "personality characteristics?" (psychop)
- "Sociopathy is also distinct from ASPD as well as psychopathy. Hare writes that the difference between sociopathy and psychopathy may "reflect the user's views on the origins and determinates of the disorder." The term sociopathy may be preferred by sociologists that see the causes as due to social factors. The term psychopathy may be preferred by psychologists who see the causes as due to a combination of psychological, genetic, and environmental factors." "wikipedia" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antisocial_personality_disorder#Psychopathy_and_sociopathy )
- How they apply to me
- ASPD
- As a general diagnosis, I sit well within this type, although in terms of the destinction of behavioral vs social causes, think I move easily out of this catagory and into the next, i.e. sociopathy
- Irresponsibility - up until 'the event,' I had no real concept of responsibility. Going nowhere fast, fake my responsbilities (soil checker et al),
- manipulative - always looking for a way to get what I want other than directly - until the event, I didn't know how to ask. That's one of the reasons I stole
- Criminal behavior - extreme kleptomania - stole from everyone, everywhere, B&E's (mostly related to cross dressing), drugs (some selling, mostly user, not addicted,
- pathalogical liar - lied extremely and to everybody - i grew up in a house of liars - it was 'normal.'
- Affect? What is this? Tragically hip?
- Failure to conform to social norms - in spades, i.e. dress (biker/loner)
- Irritability - bad temper, impulsive, angry. Directed most of my anger to things - was unable to
- (DSM) Reckless disregard for the safety of self or others - especially on a motorcycle, reckless in the extreme
- (DSM) Lack of remorse after having hurt, mistreated, or stolen from another person - mostly stealing, but in 'relationships,' did not have any idea of how I was hurting someone
- Sociopathy
- "Sociopathy is chiefly characterized by something wrong with the person's conscience. They either don't have one, it's full of holes like Swiss cheese, or they are somehow able to completely neutralize or negate any sense of conscience or future time perspective. Sociopaths only care about fulfilling their own needs and desires - selfishness and egocentricity to the extreme. Everything and everybody else is mentally twisted around in their minds as objects to be used in fulfilling their own needs and desires. They often believe they are doing something good for society, or at least nothing that bad. The term "sociopath" is frequently used by psychologists and sociologists alike in referring to persons whose unsocialized character is due primarily to parental failures (usually fatherlessness) rather than inherent features of temperament. However, this may only describe the "common sociopath", as there are at least four (4) different subtypes -- common, alienated, aggressive, and dyssocial. Commons are characterized mostly by their lack of conscience; the alienated by their inability to love or be loved; aggressives by a consistent sadistic streak; and dyssocials by an ability to abide by gang rules, as long as those rules are the wrong rules." http://www.angelfire.com/zine2/narcissism/antisocial_sociopath_psychopath.html
- I identify with this type the most so far, in terms of parental 'failures' and with regard to the alienated and dyssocial subtypes. In my case, inability to love or be loved, and dyssocial in my dysability to be 'a team player.'
- Egocentricity - to an extreme, and in terms of pre vs post "event," dysfunctionally so. Whereas now, I am still egocentric, as in 'individuated,' this reflected in my new ability to work well within a social construct.
- Exaggerated Sexuality - hmmm, this is a tricky one, in that I had the 'just wanna fuck, get into her pants and get the fuck out of there' thing, and I have the transsexual thing going on. This needs to be developed
- Callousness - no feelings, pre 'event,' so therefore, no feelings for others. Just didn't know how to relate that way. This is connected to empathy it seems, although maybe that's why empathy is listed in psychopathy and not sociopathy, because empathy would be a personality trait I would think. \
- Impulsivity - this carries over from ASPD, and was definitely part of my makeup, although where impulsivety turns from good to bad I am not sure. Good to be quick - I am, but I guess when one's impulses get carried away to the detriment of others, one has a problem. I did, and to some degree, still do, although in a changed way which I am not sure about yet.
- Psychopathy
- This is where the rubber hits the road I think. "... criminals and APDs tend to "age out" of crime; psychopaths do not, and are at high risk of recidivism." I guess this is where the rubber hits the road. it is my contention that had 'the event' happened, I would have continued on my 'merry' way and would be, one way or another, and not intentionally, ded by now. One could even say that that happened already, and it is only by way of fate that I am not, not having finished whatever it is that I am suppossed to do here, as hokey and 'spiritual' as that may be. Whaddo I know anyway?
- Manic Depression,
- Transsexuality
- Homosexual Transsexuals
- Autogynephilia
- How do ASPD, sociopathy, and psychology apply to me? Or better yet, what components of these catagories do not apply to me?
Terminology, definitions, discussions.
Identity
- Psychological catagories/caste system
- The degree to which one is capable of 'psychological sophistication.' Psychological sophistication marks the degree to which one can maintain identity ability to move beyond conventional forms of identification and maintain one's sense of self. What is identity? What is consciousness? What is it that gives us our sense of self?
- 'Normal' is a social, cultural construct, and as such, describes the wide, middle of the road swath of individuals who interact more or less positively within their respective communities. It is the set of individuals who fall outside this swath that are marked with special designations such as sociopath etc.
Personality Disorders
- " ...personality disorders are defined by experiences and behaviors that differ from societal norms and expectations. Those diagnosed with a personality disorder may experience difficulties in cognition, emotiveness, interpersonal functioning or control of impulses. " - Wikipedia, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Personality_disorder
- Sociopaths are a product of environment, psychopaths a product of nature?
- Psychopaths are criminal, sociopaths not so much?
- Sociopaths are those not in harmony with their society. Psychopaths are, by definition, none existent, because without a society there is no 'norm, and in the cosmic game of evolution, anything goes.
The life of a psycho/socio/path - this describes, in detail, how I conform to the definitions set above
The Breaking - this describes the event, and the things that come on line as my psyche unfolds to my suicide
Self Actualization and Beyond - this describes the final steps, including PTSD, Flight Fight, Anger Management, RLE, and individuation/self actualization
Epilogue
Notes etc:
My formative years took place in a war zone. Several war zones actually. My parents took 6 years to finalize their incompatability, subjecting my sister and I to all manner of discord and strife. I became the problem, after they split up, and stood in for my mother as my fathers whipping post. Then, shipped off to live with our grandparents, I got to experience first hand what my father went thru at the hands of his father. Softened by time and age to be sure, but visceral enough by far. By the time my step mother entered the picture, I was a dissociated, angry, and disaffected youth with bipolar tendencies and extreme personality disorders. I was a sociopath by the time I was eleven: A pathalogical liar, a kleptomaniac, anger ridden, glib and likable enough, manipulative, dissociated and disaffected, I was a card carrying sociopath by the time I was eleven. My step-mother didn't stand a chance in my heart. That was locked down by my stunted and neglected need for my mother.
Gregarious by nature, anti-social by nurture, I was the kid you liked but avoided because you never knew which way I would turn, from agreeable and interesting to troublesome and unpredictable. Having no positive role models during these formative years, especially in the areas of empathy and love (my aunt Rosalie and Edna, one of my father's girlfriends, were the exceptions, our interactions all too brief); intelligent and gregarious enough; I matured into a classic example of a young sociopath, pleasant enough on the surface, but incapable of love and deeper emotional intelligence. In 1989, I experienced a life changing moment I call "The Event," when I re-associated internally with all that I had been disconected from. From this point on, I found myself unwittingly on the path of self actualization, hopping from this therapy to that theray, from self help groups to individual counselling, as I tried to untangle the spagetti like gordian knot that was my psyche.
Fortunately for me, I was into drugs. I say fortunately because I believe that it was partially because of my drug use that I was able
Antisocial personality disorders
- " Research suggests that, “psychopaths are a stable proportion of any population, can be from any segment of society, may constitute a distinct taxonomical class forged by freqncy-dependent natural selection, and that the muting of the social emotions is the proximate mechanism that enables psychopaths to pursue their self-centered goals without felling the pangs of guilt. Sociopaths are more the products of adverse environmental experiences that affect autonomic nervous system and neurological development that may lead to physiological responses similar to those of psychopaths. Antisocial personality disorder is a legal/clinical label that may be applied to both psychopaths and sociopaths” (Walsh & Wu, 2008). In his book,Without Conscience, Robert Hare states that the difference between psychopathy and sociopathy ”reflects on the origins and determinates of each.”
- The difference one of whom either type will offend against, the psychopath universal in approach to crime or anti-social behavior, while the sociopath has scruples towards friends and family members. I was universal in my anti social behaviors, in this case, subscribing to pathological.
- Sociopathy
- Psychopathy
- Etiology (causation)
- defined psychologically, is the set of enduring behavioral and mental traits that distinguish human beings (from one another).
- behavioral traits
- mental traits
Individuation and Self Actualization
- Individuation
- Differentiation
Empathy
- nature or nurture. Apparently, one of the distinctions perhaps between sociopathy and psychopathy is that the latter is deemed genetic, or at least, physical in nature, whereas sociopathy is deemed an issue of nurture.
- I connect the late development of my empathy to the experience I had when I first was able to look at the young child I had been and empathize with it as though I was someone else. I remember this clearly, in aug/sept of 2007. I was able to look at my past self like that little boy was someone else, and feel sorry for what he was going thru, much like I would do today if I were to see another child being treated the way I was.
- Empathy is a facet of the human makeup. However, it is like reading, and writing, and talking. It has to be nurtured, and practiced in order for one to develop it into the tool that is can be.
Before and After, relative to socio and psychopathological
profiles. This refers to 'The Event' in 1989, when I was 38, and how my
behavior changed after I re-associated.
- Before
- Guilt. Especially with regard to theft and lying, and risky behaviour, I had no guilt or shame. Only in the matter of sex and cross dressing did these mechanisms have any traction
- After
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