I post my third regimen of suppression of external expression, at least anger wise. I had an incident, wherein a fairly large button was pushed. I was able to suppress my external reaction, regarding appropriate behavior, and move into another scenario, the post of which I am still learning about.
So it seems to have taken me a couple of days to finally be free of the initial reaction. I did well, but how to minimize this. How to go with the flow, and not let my 'identifications' with whatever that is stored in my brain take over. This was different, in that it was low level active, staying in my system for a couple of days. It is gone now, I now no longer have the need to 'resolve' this. I just move on. Small footprint.
And I am hooking this into my go with the river thing, and watch for the opportunities. I am tuning in to the universe, or whatever, and it presents the opportunities. The ones I strive for are where I don't need to go. The smokes were an interesting one. Two smokes, enough for the pot, out of thin air. Handed to me. Just like that. And on I go. So i don't worry about the incident thing, i just keep on keepin' on, doing what i got to do and it will all unfold just right. Arggggh. It's easy to lose sight of this.
Addendum - seems that this incident is not over, and I have ended up deciding to force the issue. Why, because emotionally, it is eating me up. And this is a lesson learned re the rules of conflict avoidance thing I am learning at VAMP. I totally caved, accommodated as it were, as i thot I could live with that, that that was the mature thing to do, and I have found that I can not. And I have suggested collaboration, or at least a working solution that includes me in my role as a stage manager.
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